you texted me yesterday and asked me to stay the night, so I did. it was amazing. you smiled the whole time. I knew we weren’t over yet. it was just a matter of time. you talked to me all night, about work and how much you loved me and missed me. I wish the text you typed so long wouldn’t been sent to me, or so you say you typed. you said it was how you felt about me. I’d love to hear it, maybe on day. maybe at our wedding. lol I knew there was no way we were ever gonna end for good. we love each other. and that’s just that

we didn’t speak today. I wanted to call you but I knew the conversation wouldn’t go in my favor. I wish you’d just come over and kiss me and tell me how much you miss me and that everything between us will be okay. although, I’m sure we’ll be fine. there’s not a day that passes when I don’t think about you and want to talk to you. I wish I could call and tell you how I feel but I know what you’d say. I decided against asking you out on that friend date Friday because I think its too early, plus I feel like you’d reject me anyways so maybe next weekend. I hope I get the guts to ask you then. you said you’d call me Monday after your interview, I hope you don’t forget. I hope you call me. I miss hearing your voice everyday. I wanna be where you are all the time. I’m thinking about sending you flowers or treats to your job, just to let you know that I’ve been thinking about you and how sorry I am and that I miss you. I think you have a right to know how much I miss you. plus I wanna do something a little special for you. I know delivery flowers and treats isn’t the greatest thing in the world but its just a little something from me to you. thinking about you everyday and missing you is hard enough but the fact that people around me bring you up, its hard for me to put that fake smile on and say “yes” when they ask if we’re still together. I know I shouldn’t lie but honestly its none of their business, and I’m not ready yet to talk to anyone about why and what happened, all that bull. my cousin asked about you and I told her you were still my boyfriend and her response was, “good, he’s a good guy” and I kinda laughed at the fact my 11 year old cousin said that and she said, “what? he is a good guy right?” and I told her yes; you are a good guy. the best I’ve ever had. I wish you’d come back. I can’t wait until you call me next week. I’m so ready to hear your voice and learn what you have to say. I’m so proud of you and all your accomplishments. I love you, Christopher. always will.

today

today you called me. your voice made me feel so relaxed yet so nerve racking. I started to shake the moment I saw your number appear on my phone. you seemed happy but talked as if something wasn’t right or something was missing. I hoping that one missing thing was me. I’m so glad that you called me to express your good news with me about your new job opportunity and even asked about mine. I could tell in your voice that you didn’t wanna hate me and kick me out of your life forever. I hope that we can still keep in touch with each other. I feel like you miss me. I miss you. I miss your laugh, your smile, your touch, your smell and your corny jokes. my feelings are pretty much all over the place. I want you but I know this is good right now. I don’t feel like its completely over between us. I love you and as selfish as I am I know you still love me too. I don’t think we’ll ever stop loving each other but as far as one of us getting over the other, you will probably beat me to it. I don’t want you to move on but I don’t want you to be totally alone either. I wish you could just find someone to keep you company and pass the time between us until we find our way back to each other. I don’t think we’ll ever have closure because I feel like we’ll always wanna be together, even if we don’t work out. I wanna see you this weekend, just so we can refresh each other. I just want you to feel like we can still be friends and be cool with each other and that you can always come to me if you wanna talk or need someone to be there for you. so I hope you agree to this friend date :) I’ll always love you, babe.

if our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

if our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?

# sad# love# breakup# heart# boyfriends# girlfriend# iloveyou# personal

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I always wondered what that phrase meant and now that I feel this love for you, I understand. I wish I was perfect for you. I wanna be all that you want and need in a woman. I know I can be, I just have trouble hiding my feelings and showing that I care. I was told before that I care too much but all my relationships haven’t worked out and its hard for me to give my all to someone just yet. I need time and I wish you could understand that. I don’t wanna hurt you. I don’t like hurting you. I wanna make you the happiest guy on the earth. I wanna shower you with all my love and affection. I don’t want you to ever feel like my love isn’t enough or that you don’t mean the world to me because you do. I just need some time and I know you’re not gonna wait on me because if there were ever a girl better than me to come along, I would want you to take advantage of that moment and make yourself happy but if you ever do wanna take a chance on me then I promise you will be happy in the end. I will be your woman and I will love you completely and unconditionally. I wanna prove to you that not all women are the same and do everything right instead of wrong. I’m going to get you back, I promise but when the time is right. I will be a good girlfriend and eventually wife to you. I love you Christopher Charles Poole. always have, always will.